I Hate New Music

Written by Kimber Saturday, 28 March 2009 02:30

I Hate New Music

Dave Thompson

If I have to read another article, book, or see another video report about how the CD is dead, then I will probably have to break the neck of something cute and defenseless. 

Seriously. Not. Kidding.

Let’s state the obvious again, shall we?  The CD was good medium because it offered a large profit margin, which allowed record companies to sign and produce more bands, so they could sell more CDs and get more profit and so on and so on.  The good? Lots o’ cash.  The bad?  Labels had more money to experiment with bands that weren’t as great, thus lowering the listener’s standards.  Next thing we know we’re on the edge of a depression. 

Then, we got a taste of digital, of free, of Napster and Kazza, and it all went to shit. Or, so says Steven Knopper in his big, bland book “Appetite for Self Destruction.”  I went to see Steve talk about his book on the day of its release.  He has quite the impressive pop-music/journalism resume and is currently the music business correspondent for Rolling Stone.

I’m sure there are numerous idiosyncrasies that have developed in the past few years on the subject, but for what it’s worth the only thing that Rolling Stone needs to know about music business on the level of the heavy hitters is this:  Put a lot of money behind a project so everyone and their uncle knows about them.  Put an artist in front of the masses, and those who are trained to buy everything they see will inevitably buy it.  No matter the quality or the content of the product, it will be buzzing through their heads in a matter of no time.

Big.  Fucking.  Surprise.

After his talk – wherein several music “buffs” wanted to ask him extremely high end questions (so high end, the interrogators probably weren’t sure what they were asking) – I walked around the book store and came across a slimmer and much more enjoyable volume titled “I Hate New Music.”

You would pick it up too.  It has old school cannons (the kind that go “boom”) on the cover.  What’s not to love?

Thompson’s literature is more than just a pleasurable read; it is a flat out manifesto (probably the only written formula I love, from concept to finish, no matter that function it happens to be driving).  Within this manifesto he states, boldly (and correctly) that there hasn’t been a decent album produced since 1979.  Thompson then goes so far to say that the music, the medium, the performance and everything that has to do with the world of music  And he’s probably right. 

Where Knopper states that the medium is dead.  Thompson states that the medium and the content haven’t been worth buying into for a long, long time.  Thompson, unlike so many other critics of the CD vs. Vinyl argument, goes so far to state that the 8track is the ideal medium.

And why shouldn’t he?  Most of this volume reads as if it is a rickety middle-ager who can’t quite keep up with the times.  However, when you really break it down, it is the times which can’t keep up with itself:

“But why do you see so many young kids wearing Led Zeppelin T-shirts today?  Why is it that the last time the Yardbirds rhythm section toured America, the people who know the most words to their songs all looked under thirty?  Explain how the local theater still packs out its weekly midnight showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show?  By rights, and by all that’s holy, the average age of the audience for all three should be somewhere between forty-five and fifty-five.  Instead, it’s less than half of that.”

After so many years of “It’s on MTV so it’s gotta be good,” mentality, we are now realizing that what is on MTV can hardly be justified as a barometer of our culture, much less the reporter of what is new and notable in music (unless you count the 15 second clips that occasionally get played over self-absorbed montages of dumpy teens wearing next to nothing).

“In 1967, the Who dreamed of Heinz Baked Beans and cities in the sky.  In 1968 they were foisting a new messiah upon us.”

Remember when it meant something?  The Music?  Ok, so do you at least remember watching a movie on VH1 or listening to your uncle tell you about Kent State where the music was a backdrop for the social setting? Hell, is there at least a song which motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?  An album that makes you want to drive a little faster?  Maybe a paylist that just begs to be fucked to? 

My suggestion to modern musicians:  don’t bother with experimenting or developing new genre’s for you to exist in. Learn what is already out there and improve upon it.

Indie and experimental is good if it is grounded, educated, and if something else can be built upon it.  Otherwise, it is asinine.  Show me something new!  Don’t bore me with asinine lyrics of jilted lovers or dead dogs or the summer sun.  Give me something I can relate to, sink my teeth into, digest, and feel satiated with at the end. 

And for the love of all things holy, do it quick.  Enter Sandman was just played on the Classic Rock station, which means classic rock stations are about five years from adding Blink 182 to their rotation.